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I know first hand what it feels like to live with an addiction to food and have an overweight body. I know the pain of feeling powerless over the compulsion to overeat and not understand why. Here is a picture of me many years ago when I needed food to help me get through life, and I would do anything to get it.

From the outside looking in, my life looked really good. I made money, I drove fast cars, had big houses, I had a partner and a child. I was a lover, a mother, a wife and a business owner. No one knew of my secret struggle with overeating. Of course, it was obvious because I was very overweight, but I always had a smile on my face so no one knew the hell I lived in. I felt trapped in a body that I didn’t feel belonged to me.

I was perplexed because I had reached a stage in my life where I had everything a person was supposed to want. I thought I would be fulfilled and yet the reality was I felt empty, and that something was missing. Even though I had lots of money and could pretty much do anything I wanted to, I was miserable.

This all started at 11 years old when I went on my first diet.

My whole life revolved around food – what I was going to eat, when I was going to eat and how I was going to get it. I would sneak food hoping no one would find out, I just couldn’t help myself. At the same time, I felt disappointed for being so weak and not having the willpower to stop.

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When my food cravings kicked in, they were unstoppable, like a tsunami that swept me away and crushed anything that stood between me and my food. I would eat a loaf of bread or a family size block of chocolate in one sitting, and that was when I meant to have only one piece! Sometimes I used to eat so much that I thought my stomach would burst. I know it sounds crazy, but that’s the truth.

Then I would feel terrible, “Oh, no, I’ve done it again”. I couldn’t even move off the couch I was so full. I couldn’t believe how much money I wasted on junk food and I felt like my life was falling way.

Then a part of myself that lived in a fantasy and never faced reality would say, “Tomorrow… tomorrow everything will be different. Tomorrow I will start on the diet. Tomorrow, I will do three hours at the gym. Tomorrow, everything will be magically different. Everything will change then.”

But I knew it wouldn’t work, I knew I was setting myself up to fail and I felt like a fraud. Then the cycle would start all over again – a bingeing cycle that no diet would ever break.

It wasn’t just my weight that was a problem, everything in my life suffered – my relationship, my sex life, my health and my career but most importantly, how I felt about myself. I was putting everything on hold because of my food addiction and felt a lot of shame and very alone because of it. No one knew about my secret struggle with food, weight and shape.

Can you relate to this?

For over 30 years I tried everything to help me with my food addiction but nothing could break the hold food had over me. I didn’t know what to do but was determined to find a solution.

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I searched high and low all over the world and spent hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to find answers. I worked with the so-called “best of the best” in the personal development industry, both in Australia and overseas, including psychologists and hypnotherapists. I trained in the fields of nutrition, metaphysics and wisdom traditions from around the world.

I studied meditation and mindfulness, energy work and chakras, NLP, Eckhart Tolle, wisdom of the ancient eastern sages of Advaita Vedanta, and later studied and trained with Dr John Demartini in quantum physics and human behaviour. I studied the connection between body and mind and became a psychosomatic therapist, studying also with Dr Peter Levine, Dr Bessel van der Kolk and Dr Gabor Maté. I also engaged in years of study of Voice Dialogue with Hal and Sidra Stone and facilitated this Method for many years, working with and training clients in many different countries.

And what all this led me to understand was that it wasn’t my fault that I had been obsessed with food. No child chooses to be overweight. My addiction to food was a response to wounding I experienced as a child from the emotional neglect of my caregivers. It left me with an emptiness that I continually tried to fill with food. No one chooses to binge or have and addiction, whether it is to food, drugs, alcohol or anything else.

As a result of all this experience, I created a unique Program to help people understand why they overeat and how to overcome it. It has helped literally hundreds of people who could not stop overeating. Know it is almost impossible to do this on your own.

The Program is called BreakFree Eating and draws on the latest research in food addiction, neuroscience, nutrition and psychology. It is a unique Program that will transform your overeating into a spring board to launch you into living your own life in your right-sized body. A life of healthy, joyful living.

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