I was born in Denmark, a relatively calm and safe country. Growing up, all my practical needs were met, but as far back as I can remember, I constantly had a voice within me whispering, “There’s got to be more than this.”
I coexisted with a feeling of emptiness deep inside me and it persisted no matter what I did to try to get rid of it. So much of my life was spent trying to fill the emptiness, just so I could feel complete, whole and calm within myself.
As I grew up, I experienced continual struggle, trying to navigate my very uncomfortable inner world. I was painfully shy and I felt that everyone else had a “life manual” and when it was my turn to get one, the print run had stopped. I had missed out.
As I grew, the void within me grew. I felt isolated and lonely. I was on the outside of life looking in. I could not access the joy that others seemed to feel and I could not ‘just be’ in the moment. I felt like I didn’t belong in my family or in my life. Worse, I couldn’t tell anyone the truth of how I felt, as I feared upsetting them or having them think there was something wrong with me. So, loneliness and sadness came to reside with the emptiness.
I judged myself harshly, believing it was my fault that my life was like this and I constantly questioned; “Why was I like this?”, “What is life all about?”, “What was my purpose?”, and, “What is the point of being here?” At the same time, I felt that I was actually here to do something. “But WHAT?”
As a young adult you would have thought I had it all together. In fact, I my life looked impressive! I was popular in groups and social interactions. I made money, I drove fast cars, I had big houses, I had a partner, a child and my own family. I was a lover, a mother, a wife, and a business owner. I was an entrepreneur. I had ‘made it’!
I had reached a point where I had every success I could possibly want and all the wealth I could possibly need in order to be happy and fulfilled. And still, the whisper remained, “This is not it… there must be more to life”. Nothing had changed.
There never seemed to be any reason or excuse for me to feel this emptiness, this void. But it was there. Why?
Fortunately, I was always an active seeker to the big questions of life and, as much as something was missing, I drew upon my tenacious curiosity to find the answers. I was going to find out what that “more” was.
I spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to answer the whisper, “There has got to be more than this!” I worked with the “best of the best” in the personal development industry, starting in the field of nutrition, metaphysics and different wisdom traditions from around the world. I went to India and stayed in ashrams. I learned to meditate in order to live with more mindfulness. I studied energy work and chakras and was very involved in the study and practice of the wisdom of the ancient eastern sages of Advaita Vedanta. Later, I studied quantum physics and human behaviour with Dr John Demartini. As time went by, Attachment Theory and Psychology started to interest me more and I became a psychosomatic therapist with Herman Muller, as well as studying the connection between body and mind with Dr Peter Levine and Dr Bessel van der Klock.
Still, as I searched and I learned, the whisper remained. I still felt the emptiness. When I wasn’t in public, delivering seminars, I filled my void with many addictions – TV, reading, food, being a people pleaser, being very busy with various projects and, of course, doing lots of personal development seminars myself. I was beginning to feel like a fraud.
Life changed when I was introduced to the work of Drs Hal and Sidra Stone, who integrated Western and Eastern philosophy in their method called ‘Voice Dialogue’. Through study with them, I came to understand that all of us have an inner family of sub-personalities (also known as Parts or Selves) that need to be seen, heard and validated. When we are able to do this, we are able to fully accept and love all aspects of ourselves. When this is achieved, the path to success in all areas of life opens up for us. Most importantly, life becomes rich, joyful and becomes lived ‘in the moment’.
Life truly becomes magical when we become aware of all our aspects and know how they are functioning within us. For example, there is a part of us that knows the truth, but another part of us looks to the outside for instant gratification. When we understand what each of these parts are trying to accomplish for us, and how they view the world, we are free to make an informed decision of how we are going to choose to act. Unbelievable as it seems, every one of our sub-personalities has a gift for us! When you get to know them, their gift is given to you.
So, it turns out, the answers I was looking for lay within me the whole time! And the whole time I was looking for the answers “out there”.
It’s funny how life has it twists and turns. I never knew that my dedication to exploring eastern philosophy and western psychology would end up becoming a body of work. This work is contained within all the courses at The BreakFree Institute. Here, our courses are underpinned by a process that crystalises the discoveries I have made, called the Aspect Illumination Method (AIM). It is the method that has led me to live my life as I live it now.
This is a place where I feel I finally live my own life… not a life that is unconsciously directed by my upbringing, my family, society, commercials and social media. I live my own life on my terms and I cannot wait to go to bed at night because then I know I will soon wake up and have a whole new day to live with a feeling of aliveness that shines from the inside, out. I have finally found the joy in my life, even in the challenging times. Is my life perfect? No, because life comes with its ups and downs, however, I now know how to navigate life, how to navigate conflict and basically design the life that I want to live.
Once I discover something that has value or meaning and I find it helpful, I simply cannot help but share it with others. This is how AIM came into being. When I started to share this work, people began being able to truly transform their experience of life and I knew I had to make it available to a wider audience. This is because my greatest wish is that my suffering has not been in vain. More than that, I want others to find aliveness in a much, much, shorter time than it took me!
It is very humbling (and at the same time gives me immense joy) that out of my suffering, I did manage to find the ‘life manual’. You will find it here at The BreakFree Institute. Anyone that is drawn to the Institute will “read the manual” within all our courses, groups or one-on-one sessions.
So, it is now up to you, Dear Reader, to “open the manual”, so that you too can begin living your own life.
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